A Short Story of My Life

"I don't subscribe in coincidence, but no matter how random things might appear, I believe there's a plan."

-Col.Hannibal Smith(A-Team,2010).

"I hope one day, you would be like her.", an old lady told the little girl beside her. The little girl look at the woman her grandma was referring to, a bank teller was so busy counting money. 10years later, that girl is doing the same thing her grandma wanted her to do. At 7am, she wakes up, eat her breakfast, takes a bath then off to work at 8:27am. Her job starts at 8:30am but her house is just a block away from her office and she was able to estimate that the distance is just a 3minute of walk with her heels. 10-12hours later, when all the money she counted for the day was balanced, job's done. Back home.

That girl, was me. I'm 23years old, young professional, stable job, regular paycheck - making me a responsible elder sister to my brother and sister. However, this was not the kind of life I imagined to become.  I admit that my life is way better than before and that I'm more fortunate than other women my age. I could now afford the shoes, the bags, the clothes, the make-up that I used to envy on models from my collection of magazines. I could now buy the books that I wanted to read and the gadgets that I wanted to have. Material things has become much easier to grab but never my real dreams. I always think about my grandma's words,


 "Am I gonna live the life she wanted me to be or the dreams that would interfere with my responsibilities?"

I had the normal childhood - eat, play, sleep - but not the normal environment and family. Me and my siblings were illegitimates. This situation however was never brought up because nobody wants to talk about it - drama is not a blockbuster movie for us. Phrases like, "I love you", "How are you?", "Take care" or even "I gotta go" never existed just because it's awkward saying so. My mother was so busy looking for a livelihood that she forgot to teach us how to care openly. We also don't eat together so there's no time to discuss about anything, except when our studies was the issue. I grew up studying so hard to maintain my scholarship and being on the honor list. And when asked I'm how do we celebrate family day, it's when our mom brought home our favorite cheese bread which we consume as fast as we could. Our mom was our dad and the boss at the same time, what she said was the commandment - disobedience equals spank.  But it was perfectly normal for us, in fact that's my definition of a happy family - as long as we're together, our mom strong, and we laugh when our mom don't hit our assess too hard - we're fine.

That was the family that I knew until I reached college and found really close friends. They were different - they eat together as a family! Then I found more friends, and yet they all eat together as a family. When I had problems with my grades, they tap me on the back and says, "you can do that!" and asks me "how are you doing"? Was it compulsory to show care when someone feels down? I never thought that I can share my problems and that I need not to solve it all alone. It's a lot easier when somebody else was there for you, somebody else other than my mom. All those showing of care from other people was a strange idea for me but it felt better than being alone. Now I start asking myself, "are they different or am I?"

Years past, experiences grew, met new people, been to new places, I gained self-discovery and answers. Everybody is different. They have their own experiences which mold their personality. And so was me. I was destined to live through specific events because I was bound to do something. I may have a job that was never my dream but I had the chance to become a responsible and caring sister to my siblings. I believed that my dreams are just out there scheduled to come true at the right moment, when I am ready to make it a reality.